There is a way we can grieve that can be unhelpful, and there is a way to grieve that can be helpful. Here in the US, we can tend to be on the death denying side of the spectrum. We shy away from conversations, we want to cushion the feelings of other people by avoiding the harder conversations surrounding death and dying, or loss in general! We can avoid the topic when we are feeling grief because we do not want to burden others. This does a disservice for ourselves and our overall well-being. If your family and friends are not being a support that you are looking for, reach out to a local group that specializes in grief, being around people that understands your loss and pain can be a very helpful tool to help you through and out the other side. When we have some empathy and understanding grief does not magically go away but it can become more manageable and we can begin to find some peace. That is the idea anyway, we may not be able to find closure, a lost loved one is very hard to get closure because conversations are left unresolved, but we can find some peace within our grief. A technique that you can try is connected with your loved one in a way that they are right here next to you, speak to them on a daily basis, or pray to them, do an activity that brings nostalgic memories of your loved ones, if your loved one enjoyed gardening, get your hand in the dirt! if they loved bird watching, go outside and see what you can find. It is important to feel connected to bring us a little more peace within our grief. Another tip is to create a memorial within our living space, we tend to think of a memorial outside of the home but that is not so easily accessible at all times. When we have something to turn to within the home or yard, our connection to our grief and loved one is present and in sight instead of out of sight. Buy a plant or create an alter, something that will allow you to sense your connection with your loved one. Keep in mind, be kind to yourself, what would your loved one want for you today, how would they want you to feel, how would they want you to live? Sometimes we can find motivation around this topic by living how our loved ones would want us to live, they want us to celebrate their lives, celebrate their memories, honor them and above all, honor yourself. Hang in there, and if you are struggling with a recent loss, please feel free to reach out to me.
Virtual grief support group: